The Masons control everything!

It's undeniable. The Masons are part of an insidious conspiracy to rule the world and treat us like slaves. These very, very rich men control world leaders and monopolize financial markets and generally pull the strings of every major event. Nothing happens by accident.

Did you know that they created the Federal Reserve? Yeah. Putting their mortar between bricks, one by one, slowly bringing their plan together. That building is evil. The walls were built by the hands of the conspiracy!

Their meetings are filled with diabolical rituals of sexual depravity. Always plotting to take over the world, waiting for the day when they can rule over us like slaves. Performing their horrible, disgusting, sensual rituals on us. Oh, the thought of being stripped, lashed, ummm, the humanity!

p.s. you know this is humor right? I'm not a freak like that, really. No really, I'm not.