Save earth: end conditioned air

Are you concerned about global warming? Do you want to reverse capitalism's exploitative destruction of the earth? For the sake of our children, for the sake of the earth, for the sake of cute little puppies and all the baby animals of the earth, we must outlaw conditioned air!

It's true. Conditioned air has addicted America to an artificial way of life and has put us on the Al-Gore-Enviro-death-cult path of destruction we are on now.

Incredibly, air conditioning has not only created and contributed to environmental destruction, but it got George Bush elected as well, thus sealing our collective fates, politically, to suffer the most unimaginable humiliation and pain. In short, the addiction to conditioned air must be stopped in order to save the planet.

In the 50 years since air-conditioning hit the mass market, America has become so well-addicted that our dependence goes almost entirely unremarked. A/C is built into our economy and our culture. Stepping from a torrid parking lot into a 72-degree, air-conditioned lobby can provide a degree of instantaneous relief and physical pleasure experienced through few other legal means. But if the effect of air-conditioning on a hot human being can be compared to that of a pain-relieving drug, its economic impact is more like that of an anabolic steroid. And withdrawal, when it comes, will be painful.  ~Alternet

So as the earth warms and the seas rise we must all commit ourselves to be hotter than ever, and I'm not just talking about improving my already incredibly good looks. No, you must be committed to move to colder climates, to either tolerate the full heat of the natural summers in southern areas or evacuate to dense urban population centers like Chicago and New York and then register as Democratic or even Green Party. Only then can we return the earth to the natural balance of nature.

We must give up our artificial consumer temples of doom. If we wish to save ourselves the age of the ice cold shopping mall is over. The unatural cooling of our malls ans supermarkets has supercharged the evils of overconsuption and allowed a society of waste to continue beyond the natural curbs of seasonal climate change.

This unatural cooling has altered the demographic balance as well. If it weren't for air conditioning conservatives would be a minority. Kerry would have won the last election and peace would reign across the earth-- because the left would rule as they were naturally meant to do. Also, midday siesta's would not be culturally taboo, and economic activity would be under firm democratic control.

Imagine a country where economic life, by necessity, slows during the summer. Where potential customers stay home or go swimming on a hot afternoon, so salespeople are sent home early. Where factories simply shut down the line for a couple of weeks. That was this country before air-conditioning, but in 2006, it sounds like a distant, exotic land. In today's rapid-growth, high-consumption "service economy," workers and consumers, like computers and ovens, are components, each of which is maintained at an appropriate operating temperature.  ~Alternet

If we can only convince people that the earth is in danger, it will be paradise.

[H]egemonic Word count: 529

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